Paper or Plastic
As you hand over your credit card to the young cashier to pay for your vegetables and Canadian bacon, you hear a squeaky pre-pubescent voice, coming from someone just out of the corner of your eye. You cannot see the young man, but you already know that it is some kid who is working his tail off to earn just enough to take out some girl with braces out on a cute date. Not everything is what it seems, though. Little do you know, this young man is asking you quite possibly the most important question of your day, perhaps even your entire week: "Paper or plastic?"
While most people overlook this ever-so important decision, I do not. Just like with a chess move, I do not make a rash decision. I consider every possibility and every circumstance that may arise from picking either the paper or plastic bag. Minuscule and pointless, you say? Chaos theory teaches us that even a flicker of a butterfly's wing can eventually cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. Therefore, although not obvious, the decision you make in front of that young man is nothing less than a matter of life or death.
In most cases, I spend up to 3 long, sleepless nights, considering which bag to choose. In fact, I start thinking about it the minute I leave the supermarket, because by the time I will make my decision, it will probably be time to go to the supermarket again. It is no simple task, and when it is most underestimated is when it will come back to strike you in the worst way possible.
Choosing the paper bag has its pros and cons, as does choosing the plastic bag. For starters, the paper bag has a shape that resembles a rectangle (when full) more so than the plastic bag. Thus if you have more than one paper bag full of groceries, they can be neatly placed side-by-side, and even on top of each other, in your trunk. Whereas plastic bags have no such feature, and should you attempt to stack them, you will find out that they are about as stackable as greased marbles. The rectangle shape of a paper bag also allows for more items to be placed inside, unlike its plastic counter-part, which has an elliptical bottom.
The almighty paper bag is not without its faults, however. The plastic bag reigns superior in containing leaks and not ripping under pressure. Should you be unlucky enough to have something spill inside the bag, it would leak right through the porous paper bag and all over your trunk. Additionally, if you have a heavy load inside the paper bag, you better hope you parked close to the supermarket's exit, because it is not pleasant when the bag rips half-way to your car, and your oranges roll in every direction of the parking lot, leaving you to pick them up one by one, and struggle to keep everything else inside the bag as you proceed to walk to your vehicle.
And so I leave you with the knowledge of and experience with both paper and plastic bags. I sincerely hope you use this knowledge well, and learn from it. Myself? I choose paper. The next time you visit your local supermarket, and that young man asks you that ultimate question, you need to look him straight in the eyes, and proudly let him know, "Sir, I've put my heart and mind in this decision, and I shall go with..."
Written by Gregory Kogan on Apr 18, 2007